As you may have noticed, I’ve been a bit neglectful of my blog. Actually, replace “a bit” with “I’m currently dusting off the cobwebs and oiling bits of screws” and you’re just about there. I’ve not disappeared, so you don’t have to worry (if you were worrying in the first place). I’ve just been having a lot of trouble keeping my head together.
Aside from writing odds and sods on here, I’ve been doing work for Dork Adore (which is a wonderful website and a joy to work for) and trying to look at things to do in the future. I’ve stalled on writing short stories in favour of slightly panicking about the amount of calls for submissions that I want to do but fear I can’t. Why I wouldn’t be able to, I don’t know.
I’ve also been having terrible mood swings and a succession of bad nights. Small fortunes that I have a partner who’s also an insomniac, so he knows what goes on.
In my good moments, I’m riddled with the horn. I fall asleep (or try to do so) thinking about how badly I want his cock inside me. How I’m going to surprise him when he gets home from work by lying on the bed naked and spread open. How we’re going to fuck in every corner of the house, or how we’re going to be really dirty and fuck outside.
And in my bad moments, I keep thinking about the past eleven months and how my mind, my heart and my body have coped with all the stuff happening in my life, stuff that I can’t talk about because it hurts too much.
But I’m getting there. Slowly. I think.