It’s funny where ideas for blog posts can come from. Or when they come to you.
Yesterday, I was on the bus back from a staff meeting at work. I was reading Alexander McQueen: Blood Beneath the Skin. There’s a mention of an interview he did with i-D – he was asked to give three items he’d take to a desert island. His answer, paraphrased? “Not a sewing machine, let me tell you. Poppers, a vibrator and a shit tonne of Coca-Cola.”
It made me laugh. And then it made me think. Specifically, it made me want to have some fun with Desert Island Discs.
If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a long-running radio show in which a guest (or “castaway” as they’re referred to during the programme) chooses eight recordings (usually music), a book and a luxury item they’d take with them to a desert island. That general idea, combined with McQueen’s answer to that question, gave me the idea to do my own sex writer spin on it.
Which, for about two seconds, I wanted to call Desert Island Dicks… but that says literally nothing about what I’m doing here so.
Here’s how I’m going to go about. On the radio show, you get to pick ten things – I’m dividing these into three sections, plus a bonus. Three erotic fiction books/pieces/anthologies. Three sex toys. Three porn scenes/films. One bonus wildcard item.
Three erotic fiction books/pieces/anthologies
– Orgasmic (edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel)
Contains at least three of my all-time favourite erotica shorts (The London O by Justine Elyot, Making Shapes by Lily Harlem and Chemistry by Velvet Moore), is generally a fucking brilliant anthology
– Diary of a Library Nerd (Kyoko Church)
I bought this in Victoria Station on the way to Eroticon this year, and I read most of it on the coach back. I would have read all of it but it took quite some restraint to not do so. This is that kind of book. A book so fun, so sexy, so emotional, you want to hover it up with your face.
– The Things That Make Me Give In (Charlotte Stein)
I *love* Charlotte Stein. I make absolutely no secret of this. She is a fantastic person. A fabulous friend. And a writer who manages to expertly combine the sensual and the emotional in a way that feels so achingly real. This is an entire collection of stories by her. Of course I would take it with me.
Three sex toys
– The Doxy
I KNOW. It’s mains powered. It wouldn’t do me a lot of good on a desert island. But, you know, it’s THE DOXY. I would want it with me regardless.
– nJoy Pure Wand
Five years. Five years since I started this blog, five years since I first heard about this gold standard sex toy. I still haven’t got one. But if I had one, I’d take it with me and make up for lost time as I would have plenty of time to do so.
– Fun Factory Stronic Eins
Again, I don’t own one but I have on many a trip to Sh! geeked my brains out over it. It thrusts. It fucking well thrusts. Mate.
Three porn scenes/films
– Literally anything by Pink & White Productions
I don’t really need to tell you how much I love Pink & White, right?
A collaboration between Pandora Blake and Ms. Naughty, Instructed stars Pandora and her lover D, but also not. You see, D is there in spirit and voice but not in the flesh – yet.
D has written her a note featuring explicit instructions which Pandora must follow to the letter. We can hear his voice telling her what to do, dominating her from afar. It is as sexy as it sounds.
– Anna’s Mates (Anna Span, Easy on the Eye Productions)
Anna Span. The legend that is. This is one of (I think) two or three of her films I own (or owned, as I haven’t a fucking clue where it went) and it has some of my favourite porn scenes ever.
Special bonus wildcard
– Liquid Silk lube
If you fancy giving this a go, leave a comment with a link when you do!