Rounding Up


This year, I:

  • Got some more awesome stories written and published (with more to come early next year);
  • Ran a quite literally feverish session on writing inspiration at Eroticon, as I was still recovering from a chest infection;
  • Sat enraptured on the front row at the brilliant Charlie Powell’s awesome talk about writing sex and disability, at the same event;
  • Did not get stuck in such a colossal traffic clusterfuck that our coach had to take a massive diversion through scenic Bloody Nowhere, like last year, on the way to Eroticon (which, *yay*);
  • Delved into Project Emmanuelle and tackled the Natasja Vermeer era with increasing despair;
  • Speaking of Emmanuelle and despair… This is how the project kicked off – not with a bang but with a human hoover;
  • Celebrated five years of writing this blog and of being an erotica writer;
  • Celebrating twenty-six years of being a low-key human disaster;
  • Did a lot of soul searching about the last five years of writing this blog and what I want to do with it in the future;
  • Learned some harsh truths about our little community;
  • Read my words out loud at several cool events;
  • Had severe blips in my libido;
  • Discovered and went heart-eyes for a whole new manner of awesome people, artists, things and interests;
  • Spent a lot of time crying and angering about this fuckstick of a year;
  • Spent a lot of time plotting on how to fight the fuck back.

My own favourite blog post of the year:

“What Matters” – or how ILB and LLB spent Valentine’s Day in their own special way.

Favourite erotica/romance of the year:

I have to confess that I didn’t read that much into my own genre this year, which I am become shame about, I’m so sorry. HOWEVER THO! Two books I did read, and fucking loved:

A Gentleman in The Street by Alisha Rai – genuinely wonderful, eloquent, genius Alisha Rai. I adore her brain.  This book (which came out in 2015 but landed on my doorstep in early January) is excellent and also DIRTY AS FUCK and made me blush quite hard on a bus more than once. I’m looking forward to reading more of her stuff in the next year, and especially her upcoming Hate to Want You with Avon Books.

The Bourbon Thief by Tiffany Reisz – Hoo boy, this book fucked me up. In a good way. A very good way.

Favourite general books of the year:

This year, I fell hard for: The Girl With All The Gifts by M.R. Carey – The Woman who Ran by Sam Baker (who I also met, as she was chairing Marian Keyes’s book launch, and who is fucking lovely) – Sofia Khan is Not Obliged by Ayisha Malik – The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by perfect human Joanna Bolouri – It’s All Absolutely Fine by Ruby Elliot of Ruby Etc. fame – Adulthood is a Myth by Sarah Andersen of Sarah’s Scribbles fame – Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon

and, like, a million other books I can’t think of right off the bat. There are so many awesome folks (some of whom I got to know on Twitter this year) who are blepping a book into the world next year as well, and rest assured, I can not wait.

Some things which made me a happy:

  • My lovely friend Steven introduced me to Off The Menu;
  • My Dad Wrote a Porno – in general, but also the live tweet along the day the last episode of season two went live;
  • Rogue One;
  • The Wicked + The Divine was back in full force this year, and I am so *heart-eyes* for this comic it’s ridiculous;

So, next year then…

As I mentioned in my list at the start, I’ve done a lot of soul searching about this blog. And in the end, I decided to look to another, WaaaaYYY more famous blogger than myself for inspiration – this blog, or at least the way it’s sort of been for the past few years, is done. As well as having too many painfully bad memories from the early days, there’s just something that’s not clicking anymore. Something that needs to change.

So fuck it. I’m changing it.

And what it is, you will find out in 2017.

Peace out, and see you there.

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Things I Fucking Love

Inspired by this post, by the filthy as fuck Abbi Rode. You may not agree with some of them, which is okay by me – it’s my list, on my blog, after all. Also, this list is in no way full and final, considering that if I started naming all my favourite things we’ll be here until the beginning of next year.



Scented candles and reed diffusers – I just like having the place smell of something that isn’t mulch, okay?

The Empire Magazine podcast – the right ratio of babbling about films and general silliness. Plus, it’s just the right length for me, as I have the attention span of a gnat and… ooh, shiny!

Kettle Chips of the Crispy Bacon and Maple Syrup kind – slots in along with the four pack of big macarons from Budgens and wrapping myself in a big blanket on the list of “Excellent rewards after particularly testing days at work”.

Kate Beaton’s Hark! A Vagrant – NEMESIS!

Pugs – smooshy-faced small doses of loveliness, they are.

My boyfriend coming back from taking a shower, wearing nothing but a towel – It’s what UNF was invented for, to be honest.

Getting a question right during University Challenge/Only Connect – insta-ego boost.

The Room – heard about it from Epiphora first, then got ILB curious about it early in our relationship. Now we’re both pretty much initiated into the cult of this very, very strange movie.

Finding old Black Lace anthologies in charity shops – Some people get excited about finding a designer dress, I get excited about finding really fucking hot erotica.

The opening to Come Home by James – BOOM! YAAAAS!

King by Years and Years – see above.

Unexpected deep and long, sensual kisses – the ones that make you a bit dizzy in the head and render you momentarily unable to use basic vocabulary.

His hand in the small of my back – because it comforts me.

Memes – yeah, I like internet memes and using the silly words and turns of phrases. *shrug*

Jenny Lawson, AKA The Bloggess – AKA the woman whose words remind me of the fundamental truth that depression lies, while also reminding me about chupacabras and educating me about taxidermied raccoons.


Shagging in the missionary position – AWESOME!

Stealthily dancing through the isles of the supermarket, pretending I’m Christopher Walken and this is the video for Weapon of Choice – or, you know, any other shop where it’s feasible not to run into any humans for a few minutes due to the size of the building.

A post-fuck snack of Nutella on toast – especially when the fuck in question was so good, you’ve gone a bit giggly.

Nutella on toast in general – food of the gods.

Lube – nuff said (ILU Liquid Silk).


Chunky knitted jumpers – something I also get excited about finding in charity shops, natch.

The word “bae” – yes, I know it’s a Swedish cussword too (believe me, I HAVE BEEN TOLD SEVERAL TIMES).


There ya go. That’s one very potted summary of things I fucking love. Welcome to 2016, dear reader. Hope you have a cracking year, and you continue to join me for more sex stories and histories, talk about things like sex in culture, love, feminism, lube, silly things and general wonderings and misadventures.


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