Whack Be Nimble – My Interview With Christian Madsen

Mads. In case you were wondering what he looks like.

~

 

I’d like to say that my following guest and I have a long and smoke-filled history together, but I would be blatantly lying in your lovely faces. Christian Madsen and I met through mutual friends who I met through mutual friends. I soon learned that he is not only very knowledgeable about the porn industry, but is also a fucking awesome dude with an eye for talent. So I found it only natural to drag his Danish arse to my blog for an interview.

~

 

Introduce yourself to my readers, and tell them all why you’re a cool cat.

My name is Christian Madsen, I’m Danish (sort of), I’m a man’s man, a self-taught intellectual, newly appointed editor-in-chief of the smut rag Whackmagazine, struggling mainstream freelance screenwriter/journalist/essayist and citizen of the world, I belong to no tribe.

How did you get started in writing?

I’ve always written, ever since grade school. I use to write these very, very long essays back then about wizards, knights and elves. Eventually my teacher had enough of reading twenty-five pages of it, and she made limits as to how much we could write.

It’s sort of weird how I got into writing, because I’m not a very good speller, I’ve always struggled with English and Danish. I actually couldn’t even read until the 4th or 5th grade I think (?). I think one of the reasons I like writing, is because I love stories – all stories. I love hearing them and I love telling them, nothing beats a good story.

Right out of school I started doing a lot of poetry – I was all about the beatnik generation at that point – everything I wrote had a sensual, sexual rhythm to it, a jazzy vibe. But for some reason, that just died out for me.

It wasn’t until 2008 that I really, seriously, sat down and committed myself to writing and trying to make a living out of it. I wanted to be a big time Hollywood screenwriter.

How did you get started writing about sex and porn?

I was trying to make it as a screenwriter in Denmark, but I wasn’t really having much success with it. I was making enough to get by, but not much more and it really wasn’t going anywhere I felt. At them same time I was getting into reading all these adult blogs, such as: ZZinsider, Peeperz, Fleshbot, Whackmagazine and Pop Porn. I thought to myself “hey, that could be fun!” – So I started doing some writing on my tumblr (story-lab.tumblr.com) and I got some really good feedback on it, better feedback than I have ever had on my mainstream stuff in Danish. It really overwhelmed me and took me by surprise the way people (both outside and inside the adult industry) liked my writing! That gave a lust for writing for something bigger and more established. So I began mailing articles and interviews out to the different blogs out on the internet highway. In December 2011 Whackmagazine brought me on board.

What fascinates you about sex and the porn industry?

I’ve always been fascinated by pop-culture and sub-culture, and by sex (who isn’t?!). To me, porn is very much both pop-culture and sub-culture, as in; everybody watches porn, it’s popular, but also hush-hush. At the same time, it’s this closed of section of the entertainment industry where the rest of us are looking in, but not getting to be a part of it. To me that makes it a sub-culture.

The other thing I like about porn, or should I say the people in porn is – they have great stories to tell. Sometimes it’s hard to get these stories out of people, but once you get them – oh my god! It’s amazing what they have to tell.

Apart from editing Whack Magazine, what are your other writing gigs?

Adult blogs – I’ve written for Porn Dot Com, ZZinsider, Fleshbot, Darling House and Story-Lab (my own site). I’ve also written some mainstream stuff but that’s all in Danish.

What was the coolest thing you’ve done in the business so far?

Oh man! Good question. I’m really proud of the piece I did on Katie West on Fleshbot (http://straight.fleshbot.com/5922355/in-praise-of-katie-west)

My first article on ZZinsider (http://www.zzinsider.com/blogs/view/neutral_grounds_why_sex_is_better_in_a_hotel)

for WHACK! I think my best work are Violet+Rye interview (http://www.whackmagazine.com/2012/01/19/violet-rye-%E2%80%94-%E2%80%9Cwe-take-photos-make-videos-and-share-stories-it%E2%80%99s-fucking-fun-so-why-not-do-it%E2%80%9D/)

Joshua Darling interview (http://www.whackmagazine.com/2012/04/20/joshua-darling-%E2%80%94-%E2%80%9Cdarling-house-is-a-virtual-and-real-time-salon-of-artists-personalities-and-adventures-cultivating-a-new-erotic-movement-%E2%80%9D/)

Sovereign Syre interview part 1 (http://www.whackmagazine.com/2012/06/12/factory-grrrl-v2-0-%E2%80%94-a-conversation-with-sovereign-syre-part-1/) and part 2 (http://www.whackmagazine.com/2012/06/19/factory-grrrl-v2-0-%E2%80%94-a-conversation-with-sovereign-syre-part-2/)

There are so many cool things I’ve written on Whack, I can’t even remember them? Go check out this list and you can find all my WHACK! work there http://www.whackmagazine.com/author/christian-madsen/

How did you get to be friends with Sovereign Syre and the likes?

I don’t know if we’re friends? But I happened to notice her through a piece ZZinsider did like a year ago. From there I found Darling House, Joshua Darling and the rest of the gang. I really liked what they were doing and we just found some common ground I guess? The magic of the internet and twitter.

Your tweets do sometimes paint a vivid picture of your lifestyle. Are you really that much of a libertine?

Yes, I have an addictive personality and rarely do I constrain myself when it comes to love, sex, food, alcohol or anything else. I’m 100%  all in or nothing at all. That’s not to say I don’t have any morales or belief in anything, I consider myself a very idealistic person (ironically I hate idealism) and a very moral person. But I don’t go by what other people or society thinks might be right or wrong, I couldn’t care less about that and them. I do what’s right for me and the people in my life, without hurting anybody. I truly and deeply believe in the words “do on to others, as you would have them do on to you” if the world lived by these words, we would all be okay.

What is the main thing you have learned from dating a porn scholar?

I have a really huge and beautiful penis, and I’m the worlds greatest lover (laughing). No, she’s amazing, I feel so comfortable, relaxed and free with her. But what have I learned? That Brazilian women are intoxicating – they get you drunk and high on lust, life, intellect and love.

 

What kind of porn do you prefer?

Hard to answer actually, because some porn I just like to watch. With other porn I want to get my masturbator on. If we’re talking about getting off – I really like Tonight’s Girlfriend, The RAW series from Manuel Ferrara, Czech Streets, Cum Louder, Elegant Angel – that’s just at the top of my head.

What misconceptions are there about the industry and can you dispel them for us?

There’s too many misconceptions out there, too many to get started on here. Most of them are true actually, but not true in such a large scale as people think. The same kind of shit that goes down in mainstream, goes down in adult. The only difference is – that in porn you’re dealing with sex and it’s out in open, which it isn’t in mainstream.

I think people should stop trying to fix porn and maybe look towards mainstream modelling, because that is really a fucked up industry! There isn’t any fifty year old porn producer, banging a fourteen year old girl on his yacht in Cannes – while girl is high on coke. There is in modelling, more than one in fact.

If your house was on fire and you only got to save one porn flick, which one would you save?

Wasteland by Graham Travis, produced by Elegant Angel.

Who do you admire? Which one of your peers do you support/look up to/try to emulate?

I can’t name a single person, but I love Richardson Magazine – I try to emulate what they are doing and I look up to them. I support Darling House and Whackmagazine. And maybe Sasha Grey? She gets a lot of shit these days from porn peeps, but I like her.

Tell me anything you want to tell me. Something that I absolutely need to know?

The internet is real, there is no such thing as “it’s just Twitter or Facebook”.

What’s your stance on the music of ABBA?

I don’t like them, but I can pretend I do, if there’s a chance of getting laid.

What’s your favourite local thing to eat?

Pork roast with red cabbage, sugar potatoes, white potatoes and brown sauce. Classic Danish Christmas dinner, like mom makes it!

If you were to give up your job as a writer for anything else in the world, what would that be?

I would be a photographer.

And finally, do you have a message for the readers of Lady Laid Bare?

Flip the world the bird and walk away laughing.

~

And I think that is excellent advice to end on….

Thanks to Christian Madsen for granting me the interview and for being a massive supporter of this blog. If you’re curious about his work, please don’t hesitate to visit the sites linked to in the interview. Or go bother Mads on Twitter, where he is @Chris_Madsen.

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Fisting Day 2012 ~ An Appreciation Post

From the official Fisting Day Tumblr…. I kinda want that t-shirt!

It just goes to show how fast a year can go. When I saw Courtney Trouble tweeting about how Fisting Day 2012 was coming up, I ran through everything that happened since the first Fisting Day was organized last year. What a difference 12 months make.

And yes, I am participating again, with a blog post of my own to honor the simple act of fisting.

But first!

What is Fisting Day exactly?

Fisting Day was created in 2011 by queer porn luminaries Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee, coinciding with the release of the banned and censored film Live Sex Show. Directed by Trouble and starring Lee and legend Nina Hartley in a fisting scene, Fisting Day serves not only as a celebration of the act, but as a call for awareness. The act of fisting is banned and censored in most forms of adult entertainment, and that fear is reflected outside the sex industry as well.

Discussion, sex-positivity and informed exposure are the way to go!

So, hence, Fisting Day, that what which we are celebramajating now.

And I thought I’d create something especially for it. So, further down, you will find a very special piece of fisting erotica! That’s right, I have written a piece especially for this day, to celebrate that fisting is a magnificent and wickedly cool thing to do.

But first, let’s get the lowdown on what will be going on today.

  • Globally-submitted content from sex bloggers, individuals, indie porn companies, mainstream sources, sex educators, and you! To Submit your piece for Fisting Day, submit at http://fistingday.tumblr.com/submit
  • FISTING 101 FOR ALL GENDERS: A live webcam show, open to the public, taught by Tobi Hill-Meyer. Live streaming sex ed presentation at 6pm PST on http://queerporn.tv / Sponsored by QueerPorn.TV, live streaming provided by SkinVideo.
  • TACTILE : Courtney Trouble’s CAFE FIST: Previously an online-only event, Fisting Day will have a physical presence this year the the Center for Sex and Culture, where Courtney will debut a performance art piece simple called, TACTILE: Courtney Trouble’s Cafe Fist. More information on this event can be found at http://courtneytrouble.com/tactile
  • Hosted for one day only on Indie Porn Revolution will be a very special scene from the new film Fucking Different XXX, featuring a real life loving couple, two gay men, in a romantic, yet incredibly explicit, love story. (By director Manuela Kay, Germany) This screening will be a free event brought to you by IndiePornRevolution.Com and Fucking Different XXX
Jiz Lee and Billy Castro for NoFauxxx.com, demonstrating how hot fisting can be.

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The Fist

By Jillian Boyd

Oh how I have longed

for your body next to mine.

For fingers entangled

legs entwined.

And your cock inside mine.

But tonight I long

for so much more.

I want it rough

I want to thrill

in the pit of my core.

I want more than just your hand,

I want it all

and I want it bad.

I want the one thing

I have so sorely missed.

And therefore, mon cherie,

I plead with you.

Gimme your fist!

Whether lubed up

gloved up

small

or big

Give it to me

deep and hard.

Let me fuck your majestic fist

and let the world

for a second

seize and desist.

Gimme

gimme

gimme

your fucking fist.

~

 

 

 

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Porn The Brave ~ Sophie Delancey Part Two

source ~ Tumblr, Formido

 

Great, you’re here! Which means that you must have had your interests piqued by my interview with the lovely Sophie Delancey last night. As promised, this is part two. Sophie and I discuss the shift of styles in pornography, how she met Camille and Mike and what the future holds for the Beautiful Porn revolution.

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Jillian: Okay, we left off at the conclusion that there is a market out there for what you guys do.

Sophie: Yes indeed

Jillian: Which I for one am very pleased with.

Sophie: As am I. Otherwise my job would cease to be.

Jillian: And that would in turn be detrimental to the porn world because they would be stuck in the same loop as they have been for years. Your job has made a change.

Sophie: For sure. I think that there are eras of porn that you can look back on and you can see the shifts. Just not all shifts have been great for the audience. I’m not saying that porn in the 70s was any better, but the direct to video/web model made adult filmmaking lose some of its lustre.

Jillian: When do you think that the shift towards the current model of pornography happened?

Sophie: Probably gradually in the 90s. I’m not a big porn historian, but I guess as distribution became easier and our appetite for porn grew, there was less competition for the few screening opportunities and it became more about getting something, anything, out there.

Jillian: Am I right in thinking there was also a shift in the tastes of the audience?

Sophie: Possibly. People started being able to get away with more, so they ran with it. I’m not saying it got out of control, but there was kind of a runaway train effect that has spiralled in the last decade or two.

Jillian: A kind of blurring of the boundaries, if you will.

Sophie: Mostly I just think that it came at the expense of the process of creating something erotic. Anything that gets too formulaic suffers from a detachment from its original intention. Porn isn’t just about showing sex, it’s ideally about making people feel it. That makes me sound all new-agey, but you know.

Jillian: I get what you’re saying. Tell me more about the history of beautiful porn. Where did it all start?

Sophie: I think it’s fair to say that it’s the marriage of erotica and more explicit sex.

There are varying degrees of explicitness and of glamour, but it’s the idea of playing with and tweaking the aesthetics and the devotion to the way sex is conveyed.

Andrew Blake is a good example of someone who played around with that, leaning mostly less explicit and more glam.

While I do find his work very beautiful, beautiful porn that tweaks it more the other way feels more authentic to my own sexuality.

I’m not speaking for everyone.

I think that glam quality can read as fabricated because it is, and that’s not a bad thing.

I’m not often pristine in super expensive silk gloves during sex and I’m not alone in that.

When Camille does something more glam, it looks like a girlfriend dressing up to feel sexy, not like a model on a film set.

That realism is the missing ingredient in a lot of porn for me.

Jillian: I completely concur.

And I know a lot of my friends would too.

Sophie: I think there’s a way to make that realism shine through when shooting non-couples, too. Queer porn is good at that. A lot of it comes down to styling and not interfering too much as a director. Using real homes instead of McMansions, letting people wear what they’d normally wear, letting people have the kind of sex they would actually have…

Jillian: Exactly. When the director interferes and calls out instructions, it loses its naturale. Real sex, basically.

Sophie: It’s so weird that it’s so rare in porn. Real sex can be awesome to watch.

Jillian: And as you say, queer porn has got that down.

Sophie: I know that if I’m watching something by Shine Louise Houston or Courtney Trouble, there’s going to be a moment where I directly connect with what they’re doing. That doesn’t happen when I watch most mainstream porn.

Jillian: There’s a disconnect.

Sophie: I think that comes down to genuine passion.

Jillian: With things directed by people like Shine Louise, you know it’s from the heart.

Sophie: It’s the reason people love James Deen.

He just loves what he does. He’s like a big puppy.

If you’re that full of joy, it’s contagious.

Jillian: For mainstream, James is a godsend.

Sophie: Love makes that easiest to convey, so people like Mike and Camille or Lilyanne and Max have it in the bag naturally.

I guess queer porn has a ton of joy because sex can be such a huge part of queerness and it’s thought about so much.

There’s so much permission to be creative and enjoy yourself in queer porn.

For mainstream, it comes down to the people involved.

If you’re making porn because it’s what you desperately love and you’re an engaging person, you’re going to come across that way.

If this is your fifth scene of the day and you’re over it, that’s going to come across too, and it seems like mainstream porn culture mostly churns out that kind of content.

Jillian: Because that’s what generates the big money.

Sophie: Exactly.

It’s a machine. That’s no way to have sex. (Except I guess with Fucking Machines.)

Jillian: Well, that’s true. Can I veer off into another topic and ask how you met and got to working with Camille?

Sophie: Craigslist! How all sexy adventures begin.

Jillian: Really?!

Sophie: Yessir. I had just finished school and I was looking for a job. I had always been a sex nerd, so I was unphased when I saw their listing looking for someone to work in adult. Once I saw the reel, I was even more convinced. We met up, clicked perfectly and my first day was that Monday.

Jillian: And history was made.

Sophie: It fell into place pretty perfectly.

Jillian: It shows. You make a wonderful team together.

And then Lilyanne and Max came into play. What was your goal with them?

Sophie: We’re not out scouting for couples, but we do want to expand into sharing our way of making porn with others. We met up with them to discuss their interest in making a site and helped them to make the site, create an image and make really beautiful porn that reflected themselves.

The goal is just to get more beautiful porn out there.

Jillian: What can we do to help the cause?

Sophie: More couples finding ways to make the porn they want to see is great. For that to happen, we need to reduce the stigma about making porn, so more education to create openness about sexuality is essential. It goes back pretty far.

Jillian: Would you say this interview is a step in the right direction?

Sophie: Yes. If everyone talked about the potential in porn, we’d have more people get that spark of interest on some level, even if just insofar as being a little more open to the idea that porn doesn’t have to be awful.

Jillian: So it’s a case of spreading the word.

Sophie: Getting everybody talking about beautiful porn would do a world of good.

Jillian: I hope that I have sparked interest in my readers to check out your projects!

Lastly, perhaps a little hint of what’s in the future? Apart from the super secret project?

Sophie: We’re hoping to continue developing new sites to get more beautiful porn out there and to reach into lots of adult and mainstream sources to get more people talking about it.

Jillian: What would be the ultimate goal?

Sophie: For porn to be destigmatized and much more varied in its offerings.

Jillian: And that is a good goal to work towards. Sophie Delancey, thank you very much for this interview!

Sophie: Thank you, Jilly Boyd!

~

Thanks again to Sophie for agreeing to do this interview. You have been lovely.

Go to The Art of Blowjob for a taste of Camille and Mike’s work.

Or go to Slow Motion Blowjob for a taste of Camille and Mike’s work in slow motion!

To see Lilyanne and Max at work, go to Pornographic Love and follow their sex explorations.

 

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Fifty Goes To France

Cover for The Story of O DVD, courtesy of Google Images

 

 

 

This morning, The Guardian’s International page had some interesting newsy tidbits. France is abandoning plans for wealth tax on artworks, Johnny Depp is moving into publishing with his own imprint for Harper Collins…

But seeing as this is a a sex blog, written by an erotica author, my eyes immediately fell on the picture of E.L. James and the news that Fifty Shades of Grey had hit the French shelves. And, in true French style, the reaction has been a bit… bof.

The French have a history with the erotica genre, and it is one featuring noted luminaries such as Marquis De Sade and Anaïs Nin. Anne Leclos’s seminal The Story of O is even getting a re-release this week. The French are good at erotica, and they are very pleased with it. As they should be. They are the heavyweights of erotic literature and the legacy that books such as Delta of Venus and Justine have spawned continues to influence many authors to this day. Heck, Sade, a French aristocrat and noted libertine, is the man whose last name spawned the words “sadism” and “sadist”. It is safe to say that they know what they’re talking about.

It is therefore not so surprising that our Gallic neighbors have not taken kindly to the adventures of Anastasia Steele. The reviewers have mauled it to shreds, stating that is lacks the flavor and philosophy of Sade’s works. Les Inrocks calls it “sadomasochism light – and flavorless”, full of “insignificant, consensual and clichéd content” and “fantasies of a cheap sex-shop”.

Many a French critic has called it a book without any literary value, which contains none of the philosophy of the relationship between master and slave.

Everyone says it’s not literature, which is true, but we are promoting it as the story of love like you’ve never read it before For the first time, this is a book that’s erotic but also about love. Previous books have had the eroticism but have been rather brutal, but this is a love story.

It’s a bit hot in places, but it’s not perverse, and the heroine is not a victim.

Thus spoke Isabelle Lafont, a spokeswoman for the Parisian publisher of the novel.

The point in me mentioning this is that Lafont’s statement (and the entire situation itself) once again rips open the discussions about this book.

On the one hand, we have the debate about literature and erotica. What is considered literature? Does erotica qualify under these standards? And is this really the first book where eroticism and love have meshed into a storyline?

On the other hand, we have the debate about how BDSM is depicted in the novel. Is it really BDSM? Is the character of Christian not just playing dangerous mind games with the young Anastasia? Is she really not a victim of his manipulations?

There are many other questions, of course. Which goes to show that the hubbub around what E.L. herself calls “her midlife crisis writ large” is not dying down anytime soon. A film is in the works as we speak, with Ryan Gosling tauted to play the young tycoon with the grey eyes.

Having furiously ranted about this book in the past few months, I have shaped my opinion. On the one hand, I did not care for this book one bit. I struggled to make it through, and eventually caved after chapter three. I watched my Twitter timeline fill up with peers and friends who were in an uphill battle with the books. I was furious at the media coverage. I wanted to see this book dead and gone.

But on the other hand, like it or not, people are buying erotica. Authors are getting swanky re-releases, and I feel my heart warm whenever I see a wonderful person like Portia Da Costa or Tiffany Reisz in the charts at WH Smith. Erotica is hitting the ground running. People are opening up about sex. Fifty Shades has sparked something in our collective consciousness.

I still don’t like the book. But as a writer, I feel like I can breathe now. There is a place in the mainstream for my chosen genre. And surely, that can’t be a bad thing, can it now?

If you would like to debate on any of the issues raised in this post, please feel free to comment and vent. My comment box is open.

 

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Porn The Beautiful ~ An Interview with Sophie Delancey

Camille Crimson in action. Courtesy of The Art of Blowjob dot com

When I first discovered Art of Blowjob, and in turn, Camille Crimson, I was amazed. I had stumbled upon the sexy goldmine that is Beautiful Porn. Camille is, by coincidence, also a very lovely person, and has supported my endeavors from the moment I first met her. I am a massive supporter of beautiful, smart and sexy porn, and am absolutely delighted to spend some words on the phenomenon. In the future, you can expect some words from Camille herself and from Lilyanne Bloom, of Pornographic Love fame.

But today, we start this ish off with someone I absolutely love to bits. Her name is Sophie Delancey, and she is one-third of the Art of Blowjob team. In this interview (which will most likely be continued in the next few days, so expect a part two!), she talks to me about Beautiful Porn, working with Camille and how porn is changing one step at a time. Transcribed from a Google Chat earlier in the evening.
~

Jillian: So, would you please introduce yourself to my readers, lovely lady?

Sophie: I’m Sophie Delancey. I’m a PR and Marketing coordinator for a fabulous group of websites devoted to making beautiful porn. I get to work especially in developing exactly what that means and how it’s portrayed, and I get to focus specifically on the business side of how best to make that concept clear and increasingly popular.

Jillian: Sounds absolutely smashing!

Sophie: It really is.

Jillian: What are you working on right now?

Sophie: A big new sneaky project that I can’t divulge yet. But it’ll be huge.

Jillian: Ooooerrr, that sounds exciting!

Sophie: We’re also working on another Hustler DVD and a few other as of yet top-secret projects.

Jillian: Tell me about Art of Blowjob and how you got to working with Camille Crimson.

Sophie: The Art of Blowjob is amazing porn. It’s revolutionary in that it’s the first site devoted to the portrayal of blowjobs as something artistic and enjoyable for both parties. I’ve always been into blowjobs myself, and I really didn’t like the flippant disregard almost all porn had for something that was such an integral part of my sex life.

Jillian: Blowjobs are usually portrayed in a very stand-offish way, aren’t they? Like the giver isn’t actually enjoying it.

Sophie: There’s something so blase about it. Very much going through the motions Then there’s the flip side with blowjob sites with really rough and often degrading blowjobs. That’s sort of a grey area for me on a personal level. I find that type of thing hot in my own sex life, given the proper context and understanding of respect and consent and all that.

It’s almost never presented that way in porn and it makes all porn like that seem iffy on how much the performers are actually enjoying themselves, which is a deal-breaker for me.

So it’s extremely nice to have something like The Art of Blowjob where there is substantial focus on blowjobs, but there’s nothing about you that either wants them to just get it over with or makes you cringe as she gags.

Beside the basic elements of blowjob porn, it’s stunningly crafted. The way it’s shot is legitimately cinematic and yet not unapproachably glamorous.

Jillian: I absolutely love the style in which the clips are shot.

Sophie: We like to toss around the term “aspirational”, which sounds a little Martha Stewart-y, but kind of fits. It’s porn that you can aspire to and realistically achieve in your own life.

Jillian : Exactly.

Sophie: I think that’s part of the anger that a lot of porn viewers have about traditional porn. They’re aroused, but there’s also a feeling that they’ll never get to live that, so it’s an unfulfilling experience in some ways.

The conversation momentarily shifts to personal matters, which I am not going to transcribe for the sake of your precious eyes. But eventually, we talk about how Camille Crimson’s personal style of giving blowjobs proves to be an inspiration for many.

Sophie : But yeah, Camille is awesome both as a skilled blowjob queen and a human being, so it’s great getting to work with her.

Jillian: I love that Mike (Mike Flirt, Camille’s partner, blowjob receiver and camera whiz)  is clearly into all of this too.

Sophie: Oh, absolutely. He is also wonderful and his camera skills are just out of this world. I’ve been lucky enough to get to help them shoot a couple of times and it’s been a revelation. They are always alone to preserve the intimacy, but I’ve helped out a handful of times to try different techniques and see what works.

Jillian: I imagine you do learn from watching the way they work and gel together on the scene.

Sophie: They’re seamless. It’s like clockwork how the set up, get connected, start shooting, take down and go to lunch. It’s not a business feeling, but there’s a great effortless rhythm.

Jillian: Which is important in intimate productions like this, of course.

Sophie: Exactly. They’re really in tune with each other, which translates perfectly in their videos.

Jillian: It totally works and it is a joy to watch.

Sophie: That’s what porn should be. I don’t want to watch something that makes me feel bad after. I don’t want to watch something where I have to overlook stylistic elements or obvious fakeness to get off… I just want hot but normal people enjoying themselves and making me feel like I’m a part of it.

Jillian: You and me both, Sophie.

Sophie: It’s weird that it seems to be such a tall order for porn.

Jillian: Porn is a very mass-produced thing, it seems.

Sophie: It is. That’s why it’s so great to work for a small company. Everyone is personally invested in this. We have a real mission to revolutionize porn and make it something real and beautiful. When I tell people what I do, there are tremendously off-base preconceived notions, but by the time I fully explain what we’re about, it’s almost like a rallying cry.

Jillian: Don’t you feel annoyed that you need to explain the entire concept of what you do every time you tell someone?

Sophie: Yes, but the nice thing is that I’m able to blow someone’s mind and make them think differently about sexuality every time. But really, the times, they are a-changin’. Porn has shifted into a place where there is a little more emphasis put on aesthetics, feminism, respect… I’m not saying it’s by any means perfect yet, but as someone who follows the industry every day, it’s a world of difference from where it was even when I started, which is 2 and a half years ago.

Jillian: What with things like Make Love Not Porn arriving on the scene, it does look like small steps are being taken towards a bigger goal.

Sophie: For sure. I’m interested to see what ends up happening with that. Even big companies like Manwin have sites like Babes.com now, which is much more glam than anything that had been coming from them before.

Jillian: It’s because there’s been an outcry for better production values and actual storylines.

Sophie: I’m not sure that big companies can get the full experience of beautiful porn out there, but it’s a sign of the shift that they’re trying. It’s even just awesome that Hustler is putting out our DVDs. Having such a mainstream company want to invest in high-quality respectful porn is a really big deal.

Jillian: I have massive respect for Hustler for putting out your DVDs.

Sophie: It really bumped them up in my books. They’ve always been risk-takers, but it’s cool to see them take a risk in such an unconventional direction for mainstream porn.

Jillian: It’s a step in the right direction.

Sophie: These things move at a glacial pace, but there’s time. By that, I mean anything related to sex. We’re still so backwards.

Jillian: In writing this blog and learning how the world stands towards sex these days, I’ve been appalled a good few times.

Sophie: I’m routinely shocked, but I’m also routinely pleased. Beautiful porn is making inroads and we’re privy to a whole lot of positive feedback, much of which is heart-warming. It’s always nice when we forward around comments and e-mails to each other that brighten our days and strengthen our resolve.

Jillian: It shows that there is a market out there for what you guys do.

Sophie: An ever-growing market of people who are gobsmacked to find out that porn can make them feel good both in their genitals and in their lives.

Jillian: And that’s exactly the way it should go.

Sophie: It’s the best feeling.

 

~

Thank you to Sophie for willing to be grilled by me. There is most likely going to be a part two.

Go to The Art of Blowjob for a taste of Camille and Mike’s work.

Or go to Slow Motion Blowjob for a taste of Camille and Mike’s work in slow motion!

To see Lilyanne and Max at work, go to Pornographic Love and follow their sex explorations.

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Magazines, Women And Questions About Change

There’s been something niggling in my brain for a while.

It came up again tonight, as I scouted teh webz for a place to possibly do a guest post for. My eye fell on Scarlet Magazine, a smart glossy for women about sex. Yes, an actual one, that doesn’t make it sound like women are only concerned with diet and the life of Angelina Jolie.

I was miffed to bits when I discovered that it had gone into liquidation two years ago.

It’s not the only magazine that isn’t around anymore. Harlot seems to have vanished and just last year, Filament quit publication. I have no knowledge of other magazines such as these, but the fact that there are slim to none around at my local WH’s tells me enough.

I have taken to buying Attitude, Gay Times and DIVA because they are the only magazines that dare to speak about sex and not make a horrible fuss about it.

The Vagenda has regular features on women’s magazines these days and in my opinion, they are completely right to take the piss out of them.

Case in point is their dissection of an article by Claudia Connell on why funny women don’t make good partners. Ms Connell is basically promoting not being yourself to a person you’re romantically interested in, telling us that “sitting in virtual silence, flicking your hair and laughing uproariously at his gags will leave them wanting more”.

I will not elaborate on this (fucking ridiculous) article, because it’s not my point. The point is that I feel women’s magazines these days do not fulfill the need for an honest perspective on sex and relationships. Let alone cater to the female gaze, which Filament did quite excellently.

We need a magazine with substance. We need articles that pique the interests of all walks of life and we need something more than just your standard buff stud.

Now, I would like to start a discussion in the comments. So, please, feel free to brainstorm, emote or rant all over the comment area.

xoxo

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This Ain’t Babylon, Toots

The music plays and wreaks havoc with my eardrums. Jessie J follows Tulisa follows whatever spur of the moment gay icon they can muster up on the decks. It’s gone past seven and, apart from a group of women clearly there for a tweet-up, I am alone. I swirl my drink and my proverbial tears can fill the ocean.

So, this is the gay scene in Chelmsford. This one bar, this one night. This is what it’s like to be gay here. To be honest, I’m not sure if I like it. Scratch that, I am sure. I hate every single minute of it, and as soon as my drink is finished, I bolt out of there.

What was I thinking? This is a place of depression. What the hell was I even expecting? That it would be massive and heaving and our own little Canal Street transported to Essex? Then I remembered. This isn’t Queer as Folk, and this ain’t Babylon, toots.

After wandering through the streets, I eventually end up back home. The Flatmate is playing FIFA, interspersed with the music from his playlist on his laptop (seeing as we both hate the FIFA soundtrack). Ironically, he’s playing George Michael.

I plop down on the couch and, whilst sucking on strawberry laces, detail the night out that wasn’t to Flatmate.

“I’m not sure if I’m gay. I’m not even sure if I’m 21!” I lament.

“But you’re not supposed to know everything when you’re 21. You are supposed to go out and experience life and do things. You are supposed to discover yourself and then look back in five, ten years and think “Hmm, I liked that”.”

We talk and talk about music and life, and it occurs to me that I can learn from him. It pays to have an older, wiser Flatmate.

It also pays to have figured out that I’d rather stay in on a Friday, eating strawberry laces and complaining while watching him play FIFA.

It’s another lesson learned on this path of life. When going out, don’t go in alone. Especially when you’re not used to going out. Or at least get some advice on doing so from your flatmate/mate/anyone you trust.

Also, don’t go in with sky high expectations. Smiths Bar and Lounge is not Babylon. Moulsham Street, Chelmsford is not Brewer Street, Soho.

I’m still pondering about sexual identity. Or whether I belong in the gay bar scene. Or any bar scene.

But knowledge comes with time. It’s frustrating but true.

xoxo

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Identity

This was written last night, on a piece of paper in a Subway in town. There’s a follow-up post coming too.

~

The sandwich isn’t moving. No matter how much or how hard I pick at it, it will not budge. Quarter past six. Another 45 minutes until the bar opens. I’m too early, as is my wont.

Too early means too much time to think. I’m in a Subway opposite the only gay bar in Chelmsford, skillfully thinking my way into an identity crisis. What on Earth am I doing here, apart from over-stuffing myself with shitty sandwiches?

The obvious answer would be going on the pull. In the easy, standard scenario, I would meet girls and make friends and become the Brian Kinney (him again) of Chelmsford. Well, maybe more Michael…. but that’s of no relevance. I would be hot shit, let’s keep it at that.

But in this scenario, I’m not sure if it’s what I want. I’m not sure what I want overall, actually. I’ve been so sure of being queer for so long, but it’s starting to nag at me.

Once again, gender and sexuality come to bit me in the arse.

Everybody prides me on being so sure of what I want and who I am. But the truth is that I don’t know.

It’s the same thing with kink, I think. I enjoy being spanked but it does nothing for me sexually. I don’t want to call myself a “kinkster” because it doesn’t fit me. And more and more, I’m feeling disengaged from “queer” and all that surrounds it. It’s words. All words.

I guess that’s only too right. I’m 21, and I’m not supposed to know anything yet.

Some things are crystal clear and the rest is muddled in specs of gray dust. I’m 21 and already, I feel the need to set myself in stone, mainly because not having that security frustrates and annoys me. Some people have it all sussed out and I envy that. My mind works in overdrive, trying to figure out who I am.

I don’t know much about myself, but here are some things that I have figured out in the meanwhile.

I am…

Jilly. 21. Lady.

Creative. Messy chaos. Loves sex.

Feminist, on her own terms.

Likes crafts. Lover of good food.

Writer, butterfly brain.

Geeky.

Flirty.

Survivor (and still she suffers) of mental illness.

Lover of nature, quirky, lover of vintage and kitsch.

Unsure, sometimes insecure. Generally nilla.

In love with life, in medias res.

Dreamer, poet, sleepy girl.

Magic girl, dirty girl, bad girl.

Dancer. Romancer.

Cinephile, linguaphile.

Sapiosexual, geeksexual.

And still not sure if she belongs in that gay bar.

 

xoxo

~

As I said, there is a follow-up on the way….

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Can You Be Too Gay?

A while ago, I ranted big time about how 50 Shades of Grey is the worst thing ever. I completely admit that I overreacted, and have since screwed back my opinion on the topic. Because one does like to keep the peace in one’s life.

But Shades is in the news again. Well, I know what you`re thinking. It hasn`t been out of the news since I got back from Eroticon, way back in March.

But there is talk of a Shades movie doing the rounds. It seems natural, after the success and in the wake of other book-to-movie adaptations such as Twilight and, more recently, The Hunger Games. There`s already a buzz about who is going to take up the role of heroine Anastasia and her suitor, Christian Grey.

And that`s where this story comes in.

Bret Easton Ellis, author of the classic American Psycho, has taken an unusual interest in the movie. For a while, Ellis was in the running to write the screenplay, but is now officially out of the running. Still, he continues his odd love campaign.

His latest opinion on the casting matter had me in a foamy fury. But it did leave me wondering…

Matt Bomer, star of TV drama White Collar (currently in the cinemas in Magic Mike) has been name-dropped a few times in connection with the role of Christian. But Ellis proved to be very vocal about his spot on the shortlist.

In a flurry of tweets, Ellis explained that he deemed Bomer “too gay” for the role of the young entrepreneur.

The entire tweet up can be read in this article from the Huffington Post.

Some of the choice comments were that Mr. Bomer, although a handsome fella, comes off as “totally gay” in White Collar. He also mentioned that the role of Christian demands an actor who is “totally into women”, and that being married to a man makes him wrong for the part.

After calming myself down and breezing the words “GADDAMNWANKER” through my teeth more than I`ve eaten lunch this month, I started thinking.

My first thought would be that it wouldn`t really matter what Bomer`s sexual orientation is. He`s an actor. He can “act”. He`s also neither a stripper nor a con man, and yet he has played both on both small and big screen. Surely he can play the role of a young and slightly crooked tycoon who falls in love with a woman?

If Bomer should have the right chemistry with the woman who will play Anastasia, I see no trouble in it.

My second thought was a weird one.

A few years ago, I caught an interview with John Barrowman on late night television. He mentioned to Graham Norton that he was once up for the part of Will in sitcom Will & Grace. He was eventually denied the role for looking “too straight”.

And now Matt Bomer is “too gay”. Which makes me wonder what is wrong with society (and more particularly the film business) to still use these boxes. Too gay, too straight. Too fat, too thin. Too manly, too feminine. And so on, and so on.

Can you really be too something or other to get something that you want? Can you be too gay to get a certain movie role? Can you be too fat to be a successful singer?

Should the way you look or the way you are really influence the chances you get in life?

Just a thought.

 

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Hysteria

A few days ago, Epiphora wrote about her mild outrage about this article, by Brandi Megan Granett.

In the article, Ms Granett explains that she’s quite troubled by the recent upsurge in popularity of the humble vibrator (due to Hysteria being released in cinemas). In fact, it now has AN ENTIRE MOVIE dedicated to the phenomenon. And that’s apparently very very wrong.

“We should just get in touch with ourselves”, she says. We’d apparently be better off with our own fingers.

While I’m all for anyone expressing their sexuality and enjoying themselves, when perusing the pages of vibrators available, most, if not all, marketed towards women, I am left to wonder: Why all the hoopla? Why all the need for tools and batteries and life-like stimulation? Why can’t women just touch themselves?

 

We already do, Ms Granett.

And the vibrators make it even better. Because some of us can’t actually come from manual stimulation alone. I know I can’t. I take ages to come from just my fingers, and by the time I’m anywhere close to orgasm, my wrist feels like it’s going to snap in half. It has everything to do with amping up the experience, and nothing to do with needing permission.

You talk about the treatment of hysteria in the 19th century and how our ancestors needed medical “permission” to masturbate. This was a time where actually talking about sex was massively frowned upon. Nobody had any idea what these women were experiencing. Our “foremothers” had no idea that they could just calm their “hysteria” down by having a cheeky wank. They didn’t know they felt arousal.

And yes, there is “still quite a market place for vibrators”. There has been FOR YEARS. There are adult toy stores all over the world selling the buggers. At some point in history, people figured out that they could be used for pleasure. They aren’t an “intermediary device”. We’re still touching ourselves.

And we know that it’s okay. Oh yes, we know. Otherwise there wouldn’t be blogs written about it. Or books. Or articles. We don’t need permission from anything or anyone to touch ourselves, and the best thing is, we can touch ourselves in any way we want to. Thanks to vibrators. And dildos. And plugs, and magic wands (not all of them pink). Really, any sex toy.

Even the people who aren’t fans of sex toys know all this.

So there. I for one am a proud owner of more than five vibrators. And I like wanking with them. My wrist doesn’t feel like shit afterwards, and I have lovely orgasms.

And I know a lot of people who even use them in partner play. It’s not a replacement for a penis. It’s something to be enjoyed, along with the penis.

*breathes*

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