Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon 2017

One of the people I met at Eroticon 2017 (trust me – a proper write-up is coming as soon as I actually remember how to brain) was the lovely Jenny Guérin – who came up with the idea for a listicle meme giving a quick overview of what we’d taken away from the weekend. This could be anything, whether it was an item or an idea or even a mark on the skin in some cases.  

I am nothing if not a sucker for a listicle, so, here goes.

Appreciation for my own multi-tasking skills

Considering the fact that I was juggling this year’s conference with my day job, which was luckily rather close by. I figure, looking back on it, if I can make two rather important parts of my life sing in harmony like I did, I can take on lessons from that and apply them in my writing. I am one tough cookie…

STUFF

Holy shit, goodies for days, my friend, all thanks to the godlike fantastic sponsors who I want to thank from the bottom of my heart for supporting this conference. Seriously, between my Hot Octopuss t-shirt, my Fuck.com shirt/notebook/mug and the gorgeous printed cards from Luke & Jack (plus, a shit tonne of awesome other stuff including BOOKS from Victoria Blisse’s book stall) … I am giddy.

“Cheer for me, motherfuckers!”

It was a fucking joy to reconnect with Rubyyy Jones and watch her work the room at the Saturday night social like a Boss with a capital B. The social also gave me a chance to finally chat with comedian and awesome friend Ros Ballinger, and a chance to marvel at just how much of a filthy beast Chris Coltrane is (clue – very, very much).

Plans and connections

Both in a work sense and in a holistic sense. I met and learned from so many lovely folks this weekend – Sarah Brynn Holliday, Jet Setting Jasmine and King Noire, Emmeline Peaches, Dr. Kate Lister… the list is long and and filled with love.

A call to action

I’m going to echo Girl on the Net’s point here, basically. I attended Jasmine and King’s session and let out several very audible gasps of horror as they eloquently laid out the level of racism in porn and what we as writers could help with doing about it.

My people

God, but I found my people once more. The list is way too long to put here, so I’ll save that for the more general round-up, but GOD YES I LOVE PEOPLE GIMME.

ahem

“No-one does what you do quite like you”

When I see certain quotes, I often say “I want that on a t-shirt”, or “I want that embroidered on my wall”. Thanks to Girl on the Net, I have this heap of truth on a mug.

A renewed confidence

This is a biggun’ right there. One that, much like the first point, is something I can apply in both my work as Jillian Boyd and in my day job.

A shameless love for vintage erotic media

Dr. Kate Lister’s session on the Sunday not only inspired the bejesus out of me, it made me positively giddy.

Lube

Because of course. Of course.

And sooper sekrit number 11 except not really a secret – a whole lot of love for GOTN, Molly and Michael for taking Eroticon on and putting on something really quite special.


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What Shia LaBeouf taught me about sex blogging

There’s something incredibly meta about watching a live stream of a man – a famous actor – watching, in backwards chronological order, every movie he has ever played a role in. It had never – and I can not begin to stress enough just how never we’re talking about – even occurred to me as something someone would want to do in life but, nevertheless, I just spent a good ten minutes being a voyeur to actor Shia LaBeouf doing exactly that.

As I’m writing this (I started writing this days ago, actually – the project’s come to an end by now), LaBeouf is undertaking a performance art project project called #AllMyMovies, in which he sits in a theatre and watches … well, all his movies, in reverse chronological order. You can buy tickets to join in with him for a while, and you can also watch him as he watches the movies through a live stream.

LaBeouf’s an intriguing sort. As I watched him watching himself, I tried in vain to figure out what (if not ego – it may well be just that) inspired this project. Why would you want to sit through what is essentially your history, played out backwards, with other humans joining you for the ride to watch and relive it with you? And why would you let the people who can’t be there with you physically watch through a live stream, on which they’re only able to see in detail your facial expressions?

Goddamnit, but it got me thinking.

There’s such an interesting duality behind it. You can adapt the basic fundamentals of this concept to life itself, almost. You, the person watching life happen to you. The people around you, there by your side as you live through your mistakes and your happiness and your pain and your laughter. The people who are near to you, who know where you’re at and – while they may not understand fully what’s going on – are with you for the ride.

Then there are the people on the edge of the perimeter. They know you. They can see you, but they’re wondering what the hell’s going on because all they have to go on is a surface-level involvement. So you laugh and cry and frown and wonder why the fuck you chose to do this particular thing but those perimeter people (the people just observing the livestream of your life, if you will) will wonder what the heck it is that’s making you giggle your tits off, or cry your eyes out.

Of course, if you want to refine it even more, you can adapt the basic fundamentals of this concept to sex blogging.

You – the person who chronicles their life on the blog page, living it and then reliving it and then reliving it again when you do something like read back an old post or have a dark night of the soul because of a fleeting memory. Reliving moments of passion. Moments of naivity, moments of future regret, people of future regret. Moments that might seem like small beer to the people on the perimeter, because they know you but only from the words on the page (or they’ve met you a few times but don’t know you beyond who you are as a blogger).

As sex bloggers, we are brave and bold. We choose to write about something so personal, so still considered dangerous taboo and so maligned by some higher powers. We set aside shame and fear and give you what we can about the nitty gritty, dirty moments. For whatever reason, we have turned to blogging to chronicle those moments that sear themselves on your heart and your cunt and your cock. Perhaps it’s because we need to write to understand them – I know that’s why I started this blog. Perhaps it’s because we want the rest of the world to know that they’re not alone. Perhaps it’s because we want those maligning higher powers to understand that we should be heard.

I tried putting myself in Shia’s position – sitting in a movie theatre, surrounded by people both real and online, watching in a backwards order the unfolding of my life. My glories. My mistakes. The men I should have never let in. The women who betrayed my trust. The beautiful, glorious few friendships. The morning light falling on the naked skin of the man who I will never regret letting in. Kisses. Strokes. Moans and orgasms and laughter. Screaming. Crying, because something’s wrong and I can’t figure out what it is. Anxiety rippling through my core, memories of mistakes crippling me in the moment.

I value the people who stuck with me (and continue to do so) through the ride. I value the people I can tell the whole, uncensored version of the story to. I value the people right there in the theatre with me, as much as I value the people on the perimeter. Even though there are some things I can’t put on this blog, some things that aren’t meant to be seen by the livestream watchers.

I hope Shia valued the people who tuned in to watch him watch himself via the intertubes as much as he valued the people sitting there with him.

Either that or he really did just do it out of ego and I just spent about 900 words having very deep thoughts about a Shia LaBeouf vanity art project.

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eLust #72

An Erotic Adventure Image
Photo courtesy of Tabitha Rayne

Welcome to Elust #72

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #73? Start with the rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Broken
Invisible Pride: Bi Erasure
Disabled Gentleman

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Erotic Fiction: “Passerby”
Overcoming resistance

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

#AskELJames: The Poignant & Profitable Martyrdom of E.L. James

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days.

Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Tits, Ass, Monogamy, and Muscles
Numbers
ATVOD’s Preliminary View

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Perfect Stranger
Remembering my first sex toy
On Relationship Anarchy
In Defense of Big Toys
Unpacking Assumptions About Sex and Stoneness
A Thousand Miles
Six Important Reasons Not to Fake an Orgasm
Flying With Sex Toys
What is your preferred way to orgasm?
First

Erotic Fiction

kotw: anonymous sex
Breathe
Intrusion
A Firm Hand and Lessons
The Sounds Of The Night
Office Assistant

Events

Happy Bloomsday! What Would Molly Do?
Bare Reality: 100 women and their breasts

Poetry

Deacon Jones: A Lusty Limerick

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Trust Me: On Edge Play in Erotica
Come on Command

Erotic Non-Fiction

Chasing Orgasms
Did You Just Laugh At My Instructions?
I’m always going to get mine.
Humiliation of an ex-Nazi submissive 52
that was intense

 

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