If you’ve been on Twitter in the last 24 hours or so, you will perhaps have heard the distant sound of a shit-tonne of sex writers facepalming in unison. The cause? UFC Women’s Bantam Weight champion and actress Ronda Rousey, who when answering some readers’ questions for Maxim told a 36-year-old reader this:

What should a guy always do (in bed)? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy…and you’re not taking your time.

The bit in Italics? Emphasis not mine, by the way – this is what Ronda chose to emphasise herself, fundamentally misunderstanding the various ways bodies work, how lube can enhance and aide your experience of sex and, in the process, adding a little dollop of lube-shaming on top.

What kind of message are you wanting to send out here, Ronda? That a guy should measure his worth in bed by means of whether or not he has to use lube? That a girl should feel unworthy because even if “she takes a minute”, she still needs lube? Or is it just the message that you really shouldn’t be giving sex advice? Because I don’t know what kind of science you’re basing this on, but I can tell you that it’s wrong as hell.

The ever eloquent and fabulous Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote a brilliant rebuttal of Rousey’s comment for Salon, which I highly suggest reading for comments from sex educators and some of my great blogging peers. And Emily Nagoski, Ph.d (buy her book, Come As You Are – it will blow your absolute socks off) has started #tweetyourlube, inviting you to tweet pictures of your favourite lube/your lube loves using the hashtag.

Me? I can evangelise about lube until your ears fall off. I am 24 and I use it as an additional source of wetness when my partner and I engage in PIV sex, and I use it during any form of anal play, even there’s little to no penetration involved. I am not using it because my partner can’t get me wet, and he is not using it on me for the sake of laziness.

Lube is not the enemy. In fact, I’d venture to say that whatever your gender or sexual orientation, lube is probably your friend. Yes, take your time…but take your time and don’t be afraid of using lube to aid you along.

– Rachel Kramer Bussel, for Salon, November 2015

So, I would love to grab this opportunity to do exactly that – evangelise about lube and give you some awesome recommendations.

Liquid Silk

Ah, lube of my life, light of my loins. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I absolutely adore Liquid Silk. I am personally a fan of the little 50 ml. bottles (compact, will last you for yonks), but there are 250 ml. bottles with dispensing pump available as well. It doesn’t feel sticky, it’s a lovely consistency and, if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness due to breastfeeding or menopause, Liquid Silk acts as a moisturiser in addition to a lubricant.

Sliquid

Organic, not tested on animals, a tonne of great variants and a texture that has been praised by many a sex blogger. Sliquid has a range which can make anyone see stars – and they make pretty lovely massage oil to boot. If you’re sensitive to certain ingredients in other lubes, Sliquid can be a perfect alternative.

Yes Organic Lube

Another organic lube, which I discovered when they sponsored Eroticon a few years back. Hypoallergenic & soil association certified organic, this is a soft and silky lube that replenishes natural moisture, protects mucus membranes, and if necessary, supports healing. It’s not got any scent or taste to it, so you are free to bask in just how good it feels.

Sh! Lube Liquid

As well as being an East London treasure trove of sex positivity, Sh! also has their own line of lubricants. I’m partial to the water-based Lush Liquid (suitable for use with condoms), but they have a good range which can suit most people’s need – and they do anal lube as well.

System JO H20

System JO has both this water-based lube and their Premium Silicone one – I am, as you may have gathered, very partial to water-based lubricants, but both of them are really good quality.